The Dexterian Republic of Bawkie is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Sasna Daisaharim with an even hand, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, anti-smoking policies, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, cheerful population of 13.386 billion Bawkiens are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mezqurbha Dzifatfatbawqur. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Bawkien economy, worth a remarkable 4,578 trillion Bawks a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 342,054 Bawks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Access to the woods is only granted to those who bring a small shrubbery, traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers, the optimally efficient parking strategy for business commuters is referred to as the "traveling salesman problem", and it is considered unpatriotic to learn a foreign language. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bawkie's national animal is the cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Dexterism.

Bawkie is ranked 290,883^rd in the world and 5,417^th in the South Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.2 kickbacks per hour.