The Reinado of Nova Boriken is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Regis Betances Emeterius with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, anti-smoking policies, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 8.21 billion Borinqueños are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 77.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Borincano economy, worth 795 trillion Pesetas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Trout Farming, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 96,921 Pesetas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government's giant servers are often used as a tourist trap, families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain, all mothers are allowed six months fully-paid maternity leave, and old warplanes and tanks that break down can't be repaired since no one makes the parts anymore. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nova Boriken's national animal is the Coquí, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Occidentalism.

Nova Boriken is ranked 232,211^th in the world and 7,689^th in Balder for Most Primitive, scoring -111.41 on the Scary Big Number Scale.