The Empire of Astalekon is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Adrian Hawke with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, frequent executions, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 11.665 billion Astalekonians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kirkwall. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The large but underdeveloped Astalekonian economy, worth 750 trillion Eraks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 64,348 Eraks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Science centers and state of the art laboratories are ubiquitous, the nation's government buildings are remarkable for being ugly concrete boxes, fifteen-year-olds cannot walk younger siblings to school without a professional Childcare and Education Certificate, and employers are keenest on employees who lack family values. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Astalekon's national animal is the Dog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Adrianism.

Astalekon is ranked 273,880^th in the world and 1,178^th in Europeia for Most Primitive, scoring -271.61 on the Scary Big Number Scale.