The Commonwealth Kingdom of United Earthlings is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by King Winston I and Chancellor Muller with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, barren, inhospitable landscape, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 42.895 billion Earthlings hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Industry, Healthcare, and Public Transport are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Reading. The average income tax rate is 45.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Earthsian economy, worth a remarkable 5,639 trillion Curoes a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 131,473 Curoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Road rage is rarer but more terminal now that many people drive fully-operational battle tanks to work, saying "don't do anything that King Winston I and Chancellor Muller wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal, officials pull all-nighters to check immigrants for potential links to terrorists, and Brancalandian Brie isn't available anywhere in United Earthlings. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. United Earthlings's national animal is the Turtle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

United Earthlings is ranked 9,487^th in the world and 283^rd in the South Pacific for Safest, scoring 121.96 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.