The Free Land of Puerto Thelosia is a gargantuan, safe nation, renowned for its anti-smoking policies, absence of drug laws, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cheerful, devout population of 29.127 billion Puerto Thelosians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The enormous, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of San Esperanza. The average income tax rate is 93.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Puerto Thelosian economy, worth a remarkable 3,049 trillion nyans a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 104,688 nyans, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Recognizing the Puerto Thelosian flag qualifies you for citizenship, the government has been criticized for giving away Puerto Thelosia's territory to anyone who claims it, signs at the border tell international drivers where they can put their cars, and Loud Patriotic Music Day has been ranked the seventh best new holiday of the year. Crime is totally unknown. Puerto Thelosia's national animal is the whooping veras, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Puerto Thelosia is ranked 289,839^th in the world and 1,454^th in Europe for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -30.76 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.