The Matriarchy of Mortifique is a large, orderly nation, remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, barren, inhospitable landscape, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, cynical population of 122 million Mortifiqueans enjoy great individual freedoms in everything except elections, which, where they exist at all, are populist shams for a dictatorship government that has no intention of ever giving up power.

The tiny, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Defense, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.8%.

The thriving Mortifiquean economy, worth 8.78 trillion Black Opals a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 71,933 Black Opals, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 244,902 per year while the poor average 15,567, a ratio of 15.7 to 1.

Wait staff claim to like it when odorous customers flirt with them, street preachers spend more time condemning government bureaucracy than passers-by, Mortifique City's iconic yellow taxis are nowhere to be seen, and chalkboards are replaced with billboards in the classroom. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Mortifique's national animal is the Void Raven, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Mortifique is ranked 98,842^nd in the world and 1,198^th in the South Pacific for Most Developed, scoring 61.72 on the Human Development Index.