by Max Barry

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The EQPL of PenguinPies

“Penguins are good. Pies are better. Both are amazing!”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Very Strong
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: the South Pacific



Population14.079 billion

CapitalPenguinPies City
LeaderEmpress Queen Princess Lady of TSP


The EQPL of PenguinPies is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Empress Queen Princess Lady of TSP with an iron fist, and remarkable for its disturbing lack of elderly people, state-planned economy, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.079 billion PenguinPiesians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of PenguinPies City. The average income tax rate is 95.7%.

The very strong PenguinPiesian economy, worth a remarkable 1,603 trillion Oreos a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, extremely specialized black market in Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 113,862 Oreos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

It is illegal to liberate slaves, libraries are refusing to stock A Midsummer Night's Dream because it has an ass in it, a newly discovered small mammal's name translates into PenguinPiesian as 'your finger, you fool', and the government tries to improve relations with hostile countries by sending gift baskets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PenguinPies's national animal is the Hippo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is PIE.

PenguinPies is ranked 192,281st in the world and 7,072nd in the South Pacific for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring -7.85 on the Hickory Productivity Index.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 83rdMost Influential: 215thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,066thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,357thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,414thLargest Black Market: 2,058thTop
Most Beautiful Environments: 3,314thMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,958thMost Corrupt Governments: 3,966thHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,019thBest Weather: 4,029thMost Advanced Public Education: 4,515thLargest Welfare Programs: 4,777thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,101stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5,445thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 6,488thLowest Crime Rates: 6,682ndMost Devout: 7,209thLargest Governments: 7,939thHighest Economic Output: 9,853rdMost Authoritarian: 10,258thTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 13,704thMost Cultured: 14,347thLargest Populations: 15,873rd
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 10th in the regionMost Influential: 10th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 24th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 33rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 43rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 46th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 76th in the regionTop
Highest Average Tax Rates: 100th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 106th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 108th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 127th in the regionBest Weather: 136th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 139th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 140th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 168th in the regionLargest Populations: 174th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 183rd in the regionMost Devout: 191st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 193rd in the regionLargest Governments: 207th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 213th in the regionTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 396th in the regionMost Cultured: 403rd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 483rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 554th in the regionNudest: 566th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 655th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 698th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 731st in the regionMost Stationary: 745th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 578 » Erinor, Wehraboos, Saciu, Land Without Shrimp, Tsunamy, The West Valley Mountains, Aidenfieeld, Pencil Sharpeners 2, Farengeto, Dasko, Xandev, 073 039 109 032 080 111 112 112 121, Aumeltopia, Stoniamera, The Filippinas, Barabarom, Hanguk-Nippon, USNE2018, Theorin, Pax Dracon, Nova Montron, Rebel-topia, Outer Utonixick Gollinican, The Solar System Scope, Fighting Kawi Ninja, Linguiniland, Nowa Europa, The Two Jerseys, Luddinlande, Jehenna, Kiasu-ism, New Juan Carlos Land, Si-topia, The naked people, Bear Connors Paradiso, Darakin, Antarctic Empires, Seliyan progressive Islands, Bod Wareenaland, Lambdaland, Pamela And Hepatitis, Curlyhoward, Wese Zippopiteradgil, Linden Oak, Drystar, Amerion, Esfalsa, Auphelia, Centristvill, Qvait, and 528 others.German Hapsburg, Havenfell, Japanese Federal Republic, Tsvetania, Kringalia, Yellunstryer, Isokenzar, Three Rivia Levr, St Oaks, Sagada, RestartAll, Soem, Eastern Nyan, Dankstergrad, Volaworand, The United Expanse, Nankyoku Tairiku, Madhonia, FreeFishers, Lioniel, Bergenu, Transtemporal Shifts, Poopisiya, Third League of New Kent, Kandorith, Escevola, Beepee, Abarri, Noire Denholm, Oreo States, Blaash, Sthalrim, Nordafrik Conclaves, Salguod, Whimichy, Kovish, Aurcania, Southern Numenor, Zosnor, Great Andora, NeoConcordia, Walloonia, Center Lisle, Direwolf1, Bentwaters, Vincent Field, Jennaterra, Spazzhole, New Briantown, Native Inhabitants of Antarctica, Sedunn, Mapico, Imperial Duck, Empa Aserium, Omiri, Grand Kingdom of Zilean Empire, The Tecorogan Federation, Tilipria, Astraee, Yeldarbsland, Madreia, Nueva Alta California, Bleakfoot, Marstella, Zess, North Delaware, Aguatania, Santa Ofelia, Rad Asia, Bumblegaria, Manniskoslaktet, Mantas Meow, Silberne Wache, Utondara, A leftover country, Potion Seller, Grianal, Fasire, The 3rdGodKing, New Marinia, Arkalon, Novaexus, The Worst army of, Ancient Slobovia, Lesinteil, Pmta, Realms of Madness, Hanskarr, Hesrova, Shefino, Doraya, V3rmont, North Catimestistrianes, Gentea, Nimphadale, Calistan, Vos Dothrak, Great Novania, Tioloman, TubaCoffee, Sanden, Rly8h, North Kanuckistan, Baltenlands, Velarin, Steampunk Engineers, Cuuldere, Malkotistan, Kazov, Free Rad, Doundaly, Hypersensible Crybabies, Terran Draconia, Iym Winterless, Kroumos, Fredriecan, Zaelith, Bawkie, Mona Landia, Ralphburg, Techganet, Substitute name, Votri, Enplatia, Holy Free, Bubyland, Bromsivia, South Blossom, Moreana, Grubville, Great Terra and its Dominions, Ebonhand, Gliasco, Farelonia, West Pastafaria, Eastern Liberal Lidership, New Ancapland, Dereistic, Indolos, Page 53, Springhollow, InnWorm, Raelsa, Sau Man Frescher, Cinqueterre, Anserisa, Weryalachiressaraxiatopia, Turks of The Eastern Calculus, CzechoSlovakishMoravia, Humedo, The Mees, Charloa, Our Lord and Savior Ting, Penlachia, Wardoeka, Sumalyo, Aschenburg, Vila Boa, The Arctic Union, Yavemaya, Nothanksbutseriously, Weburya, Hjortheim, Quinta Caporales, The JessTown Islands, South Caleblan, Vega Naothia, Palamien, Dylar, Ikkarus, Luzonesia, Tridem, The SpaceNeo-Goryeo Etymological Society, Aritzoska, Vardanfel, Westerlonia, Deltacat24, Slovania New Land, Gardenia Azul, Oncarra, Dukin Donuts, PsychoPantachy, ChickenDome, Seyja, Quh, Elan Sleazebaganno, Kervanosia, Jimburna, Phoenixesia, Namavatland, Nova Kobol, Maerist, Meistonia, Sophiana, Markla, South Western Korea, Bewar, Hong Kong Kowloon and New Territories, Kallassius, Escanval, Sabrestan, Dirkistan, Shocking Bad Hats, Royaltica, Peoples Republic of Columbus, Erimo, East Nagaland, EggRoll, Tazaman, Compli, Von Cruzer, United Echo, Gonrati, Intergalactic Cyborgtopia, Greneria, Catsonya, Marinho Islands, Dis7Nation, Maximvs Tarvgvs Rex, 11th Infanterie-Division, Andinla, Islastal, Zolooloo, Starsight, RussiaSpetsnaz1, Axis Mundi, Itani, New Seallands, Alaninia, Ullan, Sentaio, Nouvel-Indre, Pi Ttamgwa Nunmul, The United Nation of Britannia, New Durflestan, Solianz, Laamiva, Roleca, Eden Contour, Erfton, Swighat Stania, LadyRebels, Lyrava, The White Raj, West Fallows, Corgitopiaa, Its Modelo Time Foo, Walagya, Loure Vill, Storalia, Minangayu, Chinter Tho, New February, The Northeast Mashriq, Not Austria, Efferalt, North Alezia, Petravia, Sajnur, Rascium, Maeiland, Ucilia, Eareamland, Well F, Cresenta, Eutraya, Greater Hyrulang, Alfama, Dragon spirit, Belugas, Hypturn, Gran Cubana, Odesseen, Counne Bovare, Drugged Monkeys, Romskis, SELAH SELAH, Non-Violence, New Mectonia, Perunian Republic, Dossiny, Lux Umbrat, Yogrossia, Republik Hintonia, SoraShadow, Crossen, Bohenia, Valdutz, Blahblah2017, Seibah, PEPEP, Firn Sers, The Gungan Republic, Stuniland, Bear Islands, Muyua, Demicity, Glen Cooley, Dovive, East Failany Kubloomanine, Alf Landon, Hjhkii8, Doss Kingly, Gleem, The Dizonids, Amakul, Neorepablica, State of the Northern Isles, Sandersossabernadopia, Kompir, Eddonia, Binyotta, MSA States, Sal Anderro, Belschaft, New Torris, Mincestia, Doonepfara, An Australian Kingdom, Hih, Melukhkha, Lan Zel Islands, Blondiesland, Ghoingts, The Bereans, The United Pirate Cities of Flotilla, The United Islands of The Golden Bosun, Porcamadonia, Kucaland, SHAYTAN UKHIROSS, Trepsit, Osterreich-Ungarn-Empire, Sirittoes, Hakaran, Brius, Noveos, Jengarg, Kiani, The Drakan Republic, Juxt Nagol, Fire Islands, Witerrocines, Enbynation, Ottokratland, New Clear, Mind Trickx, Comrie, United States of Vietnam, Free Elfland, Operahouse, Djalia, Peskorea, Sandaoguo, The United Common, Kaiser nation, Sernamica, Ityme, Saint Cinder, HORLALEK, Myness, Flaksis, Tandrea, Sassopolis, East Lodge, Drew-Topia, Xarbraden, New Heir, Rectionk, Idiono, Jammlandia, Irrepertus, Avia Lavanda, Idealistic Americans, Nookington, Churls, Saugeveroulcia, Radna Pasa, HUElavia, Narans Dis, Yumeiro, Unielvan Millorvium, E Discord Server, EDeztol, Kedjens, Official State of Landland, Yas qween, Amutien, Hakk Fiss, Kyroski, The Dast Prius Wolia, Rosescedium, Mylusch, Annstis, Myndia, Avalonica, Romulians People, Free United Republic, The Hare Jordans, Trotkys paradise, NDG, Vamonia, Midand, North Prusia, Poopoo Pee, Concrete Slab, White Bananistan, North Lauchyperpsonity, Drazilazi, Grimsby town, Arroria, WestConnaught, Thousand Milos, Maneell Medina, Great Aeldari, A little place for u and me, Costa Iswi, Catillos, Yzetera, Distrotika, Los Lonley Boys, B H A R A T, Of South America, Terranopolity, Schmidtjones, Sunnalandia, New Vancouvere, Galathion, Ameerricaa, Sword of Summer, Tragedyland, Monstrous Island, Drugs and Pregnancies, Sul Rotice, Uncastania, Tsaritsia, Concordien, New Xenesia, Tibblandia, New Saharia, Kricivk, Aresten, TransilvaniaRomania, Icn Gaurath, Izaakia, Ridehale, Xerze, Valkia, Talkith, Trinennie, Porke Deess Parrale, Namhines, Office Chair, Sovereign State, Westlantis, Jazzfrezia, Kistik, Sain Knia, Coadjuthen, Lazarevich, Egg Friends, Haugbui Repose, Caramia, Playing Pianos Filled With Flames, Gecetesse, Liles, Asgareth, Conoscenzia, Ausstan, House Ahsanul, Ius Ordo, The Tealnd Isles, Cran Pus, NorraLesse, Draksto, Sagifland, Aoz, Les Slokovia, Imperial Overmesingel, Evexis, Occitanica, Midway 2, Western Fardelshufflestein, Sacal, Vecratu, Switzerhagium, United Beltonia, Zataras, Eirun Sol, Terreno Travato, Avalon Nouveau, Waisnor, Rimandi, You WHAT, Guvnurag, New Roch, Ret Risetsads, Paranami, Maximusstan, Merevane, New Zolandia, Who-Knows-Where, Galactic Gelatin, Philippinia, Beige Co Inc, Sweet Satan Studios, Machingon, Sancturia, Swizant Islands, Delian Gol, Dromun Concordate, Readymade, Katikstan, Kelle Sondians, Concepcion Jose, New Iridescence, Isle of Scoda, Roterdamia, Laurus Altat, Tepertopia, Caide, Cemso Ress, Shangyuen, Palayain, Purple Hyacinth, Nejopia, Arch-Africa, Dragolif, and Up 2.

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