The United Protectorate of Tepertopia is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Gerhard von Selingen with a fair hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, infamous sell-swords, and national health service. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 14.56 billion Tepertopians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Happelstein. The average income tax rate is 3.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tepertopian economy, worth a remarkable 3,592 trillion Crowns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 246,735 Crowns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume, posing for pictures is an integral part of military training, bin lorries have replaced birds as the source of the dawn chorus, and orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Tepertopia's national animal is the Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cake Supremacy.

Tepertopia is ranked 74,357^th in the world and 953^rd in the South Pacific for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 2,882.83 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.