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The Kaidian Chronicle - Seventh Edition - November Special
Brought to you by Kaidia

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Brought to you by Nineteen Lights

IRNN Vol. 2 (Sept.)
Brought to you by The perfect utopian society rnn

Your Vote Counts! Vote in NationStates' polls

The Sportsbook Place your bets on these sports

The Reference Library NationStates' top How-to guides

IRNN
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Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

August 8th, 2017
Issue XXVI. Heathens

Index
I. Rise of the Seven Sins
II. Spotlight News
-Manson's Friendship Challenge
III. Ask Fredd!
IV. Bewitched after Dark
V. Artwork of the Damned
VI. Interview with Cynical Alcoholics

Rise of the Seven Sins
Article by, The Stalker

The dragon stood on the shore of the sea. And I saw a beast coming out of the sea. It had ten horns and seven heads, with ten crowns on its horns, and on each head a blasphemous name. The beast I saw resembled a leopard, but had feet like those of a bear and a mouth like that of a lion. The dragon gave the beast his power and his throne and great authority.

The Department of the Seven Sins
Coming three years now, the Mad King has ruled the Kingdom of Hell. Building a new vision and forging a strong united kingdom from the ashes.

One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed. The whole world was filled with wonder and followed the beast. People worshiped the dragon because he had given authority to the beast, and they also worshiped the beast and asked, “Who is like the beast? Who can wage war against it?”

The Department of Lust, Hell’s Bells

The beast was given a mouth to utter proud words and blasphemies and to exercise its authority for forty-two months. It opened its mouth to blaspheme God, and to slander his name and his dwelling place and those who live in heaven.

The Department of Wrath

The Kingdom of Hell is very pleased to announce the establishment of the Department of Wrath, Hell’s first military branch.

It was given power to wage war against God’s holy people and to conquer them.

Led by the Vice President of Wrath Altmoras the department has seen early success working on joint missions with the Grey Wardens and other defenders.

5 Liberations

99 Defenses

Participating Troops
Altmoras
Dravkian
The Baphomet
Mrev the Dead Goblin

The Department of Greed
Underworld has tripled its regional population and is now larger than Hell itself in residents and World Assembly membership. Henceforth making Underworld the body of our Kingdom and Hell the head.

The Department of Greed’s expansion brought the first ever presidential elections in Underworld.

Eothania, aka Asmodeus, now leads Underworld as its President and WA Delegate. To run Underworld for his 66 day term and alongside his chosen cabinet.

Underworld also welcomed it’s new Overlord Daisy Johnson. A long time resident of Underworld and the third Overlord to take up the role after the previous Overlord The baphomet retired. The Overlord helps co-rule Underworld alongside the elected President.

And it was given authority over every tribe, people, language and nation. All inhabitants of the earth will worship the beast.

The Department of Pride

Kyraina has been crowned the Prince of Hell. A devoted loyal Hellion who has and will continue to serve alongside the Mad King to ensure the security of Hell, help run the Department of the Seven Sins, and expand the Kingdom of Hell.

Then I saw a second beast, coming out of the earth. It had two horns like a lamb, but it spoke like a dragon. It exercised all the authority of the first beast on its behalf, and made the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose fatal wound had been healed.

Spotlight News
Compiled by, The Stalker

Manson's Friendship Challenge

Hey NS! It's me, your favorite online rockstar!

I've been in the shadows developing this challenge for a while, and I thought today would be the day to share it with the rest of the world.

Have you just joined NS, and you're having trouble making friends? Or, are you a veteran player, that wants to meet new people? Now you can! Participate in this simple challenge and start new friendships today!

Backstory: When I was new to NS, I felt alone and scared. My friend who had introduced me to the game grew inactive, I was all by myself. Later, my friend grew active again and he moved into the region known as Avadam Inn. I followed him there and his inactivity grew again, and he ceased to exist eventually. I became good friends with all of the people in the region, and later, I became dedicated to the region. They are a big branch of my NS family, I will never forget them. As a couple of years passed, I came to where I am today, still quite alone. I met a quite a few of my friends by putting random letters in the world search bar. I met one of my best friends, The Stalker, this way. We talked for a while, and then I decided to move a nation into his region, Hell. Even small things like this, shaped me into who I am. I still look for new friends this way, and I encourage you to do as I do.

Our Purpose: To unite and make NS friendlier! Everyone needs a friend!

Dispatch
Forum Thread

Ways You Can Help: Pin this dispatch in your region, or you can put #MansonsFriendshipChallenge in your WFE or on your RMB.

How To Make Friends The Manson Way
1. Go to the world.
2. Click on the blank search box in the top right corner.
3. Type in three to four random letters, and hit search.
4. Click on the first nation that pops up.
5. Send them a telegram saying hi, and how you wish to talk more and even maybe become good friends.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Hell's Bells welcome submissions for future Spotlight News articles, contact The Stalker for details.)

Ask Fredd!
Advice Column by, Freddland

Dear Fredd,
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, and violence on my TV?
Sincerely,
Prude

Prude,
When there’s sex, nudity and violence on TV, I usually slather my genitals in IcyHot, put on my head to toes latex suit and attach a car battery to my nipples using jumper cables. Hope that helps.

Fredd
---------

Fredd,
Everybody says you're REALLY old. How old are you?
Curious

Curious,
I'm so old that...
- I remember when that big ditch in Arizona was known as The Medium Sized Canyon
- I ran a taco truck for the workers building the pyramids
- when Noah didn't want to bring some of the animals, I brought them on my boat. So, yes, I'm responsible for skunks, cockroaches, scorpions and banana slugs.

Fredd
---------

Dear Fredd,
What are some of your favourite fetishes? And what are your kinkiest fetishes? Is it true you possessed Adolf Hitler just so you could make him eat poo?
On a related note, are you the same entity as or related to Freddy Krueger? I like how Freddy doesn't JUST slice-n-dice deserving teenagers with his razor glove, he f's with their minds first, like the time he made gaping mouths appear on the arms of a injecting drug-addicted teen.

Your #1 fan,
--Buer

Buer,
Where to begin? As someone who’s done it all and seen it all, I tend to get a little bored with the regular stuff. See my answer to ‘Prude” for my usual Friday nite. Lately I’ve been experimenting with a combination of Komodo Dragons, spiked gag-balls and death-metal yodelling. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

Your question about Adolf is close to correct. But, you need to capitalize Poo. Haven’t seen the little ‘hunny’ monger lately, have you?

Kruegs, while a fishing buddy of mine, is a different person than me. Always liked his style. I think the mind-fvcks he deals out are due that cocktail he smears on his blades.

Fredd
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have a question for Fredd you'd like to see answered in the next issue of Hell's Bells? Submit here via telegram to Freddland.

Bewitched after Dark
Article by, Ingskalla

My brief excursion to the "Spirit of America" and incipient foundation for the Anglo-American colonies was mutually informative and entertaining. The local populace of New England were accommodating, gregarious, and most of my interactions with them were pleasant enough overall. After checking into our hotel, my family and I uberd over to explore Central Commons downtown Boston and Granary Burying Ground near southern end of Boston's Freedom Trail. Being in the profession and applied science of Thanatology and general interest in historical cemeteries, I saw the burial grounds of founding fathers and signatories of the Declaration of Independence. John Hancock and Paul Revere's gravesites included in my trail exploration. In visiting Salem on the second day evening, my father, sister, a family friend, and I went on the tour of historical Salem. Which was appropriately enough hosted by a self-purported Wiccan sorcerer and professional photographer. Now when our warlock chauffeur-guide, fashioning a prominent stalk of Vandyke chin stubble and a trenchcoat, possessed an adroit volume of knowledge on the background Salem Witch trials. I founded myself nodding in concordance when when he castigated the cogent ilks of theocracy of the era and proceeded onto on a brief but impassioned diatribe about the precarious ramifications of merging matters of governance and local zealous superstition. However as it was necessary to lighten the tone, Jeff interspersed the morose content with original witticisms, zingers, and comedy of an esoteric taste which many of the tourists and I were humored by.

He spoke upon at large regarding the zealous wave of hysteria that disseminated throughout colonial Massachusetts, the allegations poised against Bridget Bishop and a few of the eighteen total victim obituary execution stories, and we visited Salem’s Gallows Hill. At The Burying Point, Jeff exclaimed how "fitting" the gravestones of the falsely accused and executed young women are angled toward Judge John Hathorne, “The Witch Hanging Judge”. Later on, we visited Howard Street Cemetery near one of New England's oldest penitentiaries. In 1692, accused warlock Giles Corey was pressed to death by large stones. After days of excruciating agony and noble protest, Corey succumbed and cursed Sheriff George Corwin and the entirety of Salem from his fleeting breath with the harrowing final words of “Damn you! I curse you and Salem!”. In consequence of the very public and grotesque nature of Corey’s protest, many Salem inhabitants at the time began to question the witch trials.

Our tour group, omitting us Skandies, comprised of several young couples and their ill-disciplined brats, a few random normies, two Ivy League co-eds prattling on about the fallacious relation of Harry Potter to the contemporary resurgence of witchcraft, and a brooding thug with presumably his thotty squeeze. Salem proper, noting the charming Colonial New England architecture and dilapidated roadways, hosts a surfeit of Wiccan themed gift shops and psychic/New Age reading centers. I was surprised to discover that Salem’s tourism industry, which is a considerable sector of their local economy ($100 million), apparently attracts more than a million visitors from across the U.S. and abroad annually. Around All Hallow's Eve, more than 500,000 visitors and members of the white-magicians/Neo-Pagan demographic travel to Salem to partake in handfasting cerenomies for their Samhain celebration. This holiday is among the most important sabbat for the Druid-Wiccan scene, an occasion to honor ancestors and the harvest.

Beyond that, I sampled the culinary pride pf New England and it’s signature seafood dishes at restaurants, went on a yacht tour off of Boston Harbor, scored some brewskis at a Irish-American tavern “Mr. Doodly”, and explored Faneuil Hall and a couple shopping promenades in downtown Boston. In what can accurately be coined as a legit occult experience, I would encourage others interested in modern sorcery and early colonial American history to travel to the this bewitched city of Essex county.

Artwork of the Damned
"No Clue"
MS Paint by, -anton szandor lavey-

Interview with Cynical Alcoholics
Interviewed by, -anton szandor lavey- AKA The baphomet

1. Hello Cynical! Nice of you to join us today. What is the story? When and how, did you find Hell?

Cynical Alcoholics (Cy): Haha, you're going to have to give me a minute on that one.

Baphomet (B): Lol, wasn't it around 2005?

Cy: I found Hell shortly after I found NS, which was a f*cking long time ago, earlier, I believe 2003 possibly.

B: 2004?

Cy: I need to look it up, need to go read the history. I know stalker has it down somewhere, anyway, the proper answer is a Long Ass Time.

B: July 2003 Hell Elders Big Jim P and Cynical Alcoholics arrive in Hell.

Cy: There you go. I thiiink I was never really a part of any other region. Other than the one you were created in, the pacific or whatever it was. But to be honest I have no idea how or why. It was nearly 15 years ago, and if there's anything that characterizes my experience with nationstates, it's apathy. As my history with NS has essentially been logging in on and off long enough to prevent my account from being permanently deleted.

2. Did you enjoy reigning as Hell's delegate from 2007-2009? Was it difficult?

Cy: Uh...yes. Sure. I enjoyed it insomuch that it was relatively quiet, and not much happened. Which again, is characteristic of my entirely unremarkable history with NS.

No, it was not difficult to occasionally log in and make sure no one was attempting to raid us. Until that one time when maybe someone did. I think. It was a decade ago.

3. Can you remember anything about the late Hell ancients, Miss, One Bad Asp, or any others?

Cy: I'm pretty sure Miss was pretty chill. I think OBA was a nazi or a white supremacist though. Maybe. Or perhaps the other way around. Either way, one was cool, one was a Nazi. Probably.

Like, a literal nazi. Not a fascist style ruler of the region. Just for clarification.

4. You and Big Jim P arrived in the same month, how would you describe your relationship?

Cy: I'm pretty sure one time we may have both posted on the regional message board in a sequential order. A whirlwind romance if I've ever had one.

5. Haha! Did anything change when The Stalker first joined Hell in 2007 with his nation, Evil Personz?

Cy: Sure, why not.

I never said this would be a good interview.

6. Well, you caught me there! Could you please describe your current role in Hell? (How active are you? Do you continue to help out? Etc.)

Cy: Opsec comes first. Can't discuss matters of the deepest, most inner circles of hell. We let that Dante guy in and he sung like a canary in a coal mine.

7. Ah! I understand completely! Are you a part of any other regions besides Hell?

Cy: No, I am not. In fact, in my near 15 years on NS, I have never made a single alt.

8. Really?! Would you ever like to change that?

Cy: The only other region I have ever spent any time in is Lazarus, after resurrecting myself some indeterminate number of times.

No, not really. That would require a fair amount of effort, which would betray my true nature.

9. How long to you plan to stay on NS?

Cy: Indefinitely, I suppose. Never thought about it being a thing to stay on or off of. It just is.

10. Well, this is the end of the interview! How would you rate my journalistic skills? From 1 tormented soul to 10 tormented souls.

Cy: 10 tormented souls, for after each question, I added one more soul to the Tormentor. We've got a good Tormentor in Hell, you know. You can't just find these things lying around any more. The tech is long gone. Anyway. It's been a pleasure. Pardon me now while I ignore all of my issues for another few months.

We hope you've enjoyed our Twenty-Sixth issue of Hell's Bells. Nations interested in contributing to future issues should contact The Stalker for details.

Important Note: In payment for having enjoyed our Newspaper you are expected to up arrow this factbook. Failing to up arrow this factbook means you are willing choosing to forfeit ownership of your soul to The Stalker for all eternity instead. Thanks for reading.