The People's Republic of Samaltak True is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by La Première with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, ban on automobiles, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.156 billion Samaltakeans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Baie-Mahault. The average income tax rate is 97.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Samaltakean economy, worth a remarkable 1,202 trillion Simoleons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 147,483 Simoleons, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed, police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds, the media seems excessively interested in what La Première is wearing this season, and tech-mad citizens think that the laser-powered bread-slicer uPhone App is the coolest thing since sliced bread. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Samaltak True's national animal is the Macaw, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Samaltak True is ranked 5,560^th in the world and 144^th in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 113.9 law-abiding acts per hour.