by Max Barry

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The Compassionate Republic of Headpat Central

“We headpat everyone and sometimes they bite us.”

Category: Left-wing Utopia
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Superb

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: The East Pacific

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Headpat Central

Population6.849 billion

CapitalHeadpat City
LeaderLeader

Currencyflorin
Animalfox

The Compassionate Republic of Headpat Central is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, absence of drug laws, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 6.849 billion Headpat Centralians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Headpat City. The average income tax rate is 99.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Headpat Centralian economy, worth a remarkable 1,584 trillion florins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 231,336 florins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People can't decide between preserving forests and buying print copies of 'Dogman Versus The Giggler', children must be board certified to append "Jr" to their name, tabloids publicly shun nurses for not calling home on the weekends, and pet loving officers arrest citizens who don't give their dogs enough biscuits. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Headpat Central's national animal is the fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Headpat Central is ranked 1,457th in the world and 35th in The East Pacific for Largest Governments, scoring 55.51 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.

Top
1%
Most Compassionate Citizens: 150thNicest Citizens: 186thMost Pacifist: 209thMost Inclusive: 210thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 233rdLeast Corrupt Governments: 235thSafest: 303rdMost Developed: 413thHealthiest Citizens: 441stLongest Average Lifespans: 468thBest Weather: 469thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 469thMost Beautiful Environments: 617thLargest Publishing Industry: 743rdMost Cultured: 864thLowest Crime Rates: 918thSmartest Citizens: 932ndMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,010thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,178thLargest Welfare Programs: 1,254thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,356thLargest Governments: 1,457thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,488thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1,515thLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,549thMost Influential: 1,665thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,698thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,736thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,742ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,888thTop
5%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 2,327thMost Efficient Economies: 3,221stHighest Average Incomes: 4,247thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,043rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 8,829thHighest Economic Output: 10,184thMost Secular: 10,755thTop
10%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 14,167thMost Stationary: 15,064thMost Income Equality: 16,865th
Top
1%
Nicest Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Inclusive: 5th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 6th in the regionMost Pacifist: 6th in the regionSafest: 7th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 8th in the regionMost Developed: 11th in the regionBest Weather: 12th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 12th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 13th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 13th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 15th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 20th in the regionMost Cultured: 21st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 22nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 22nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 22nd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 23rd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 27th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 34th in the regionLargest Governments: 35th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 37th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 38th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 40th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 43rd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 45th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 47th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 64th in the regionMost Influential: 65th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 77th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 81st in the regionTop
5%
Highest Average Incomes: 91st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 160th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 207th in the regionMost Stationary: 212th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 212th in the regionLargest Populations: 315th in the regionMost Secular: 377th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 391st in the regionTop
10%
Nudest: 607th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 792nd in the regionHighest Drug Use: 885th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Headpat Central voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Ending School Segregation".
  • : Following new legislation in Headpat Central, pet loving officers arrest citizens who don't give their dogs enough biscuits.
  • : Following new legislation in Headpat Central, tabloids publicly shun nurses for not calling home on the weekends.
  • : Following new legislation in Headpat Central, children must be board certified to append "Jr" to their name.
  • : Following new legislation in Headpat Central, people can't decide between preserving forests and buying print copies of 'Dogman Versus The Giggler'.
  • : Following new legislation in Headpat Central, they say that Headpat Centralians made a dessert and called it peace.
  • : Headpat Central lodged a message on the The East Pacific Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Headpat Central, orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents.
  • : Following new legislation in Headpat Central, small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome.
  • : Following new legislation in Headpat Central, earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss.

More...

World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 145 » A Slanted Black Stripe, Kaigi, ReeK, Am Echad, H-Zhena, Akorial, Kangarawa, New Birblands, Amjedia, CopyCato, Asendavia, Euricanis, Wiranath, Harro Waarudho, Kriov, Riveraland, Sansangra, Brotherland, Socialist Holy American Empire, Gorbastan, Wizardonia, Outer Verron Swicia Islands, Peatiktist, Dark Edgyness, British Calradia, Urimel, Unger under over, Dreamersistan, Goodnamesarerare, Squid Ruinosa, Republic of Berzerkistan, Hizuru, United China Nation, Neruch, Axdel, Pakitsk, VW53Aland, Ridann, Osterreich und Ungarn, Adolanta, Mundiferrum, Bullpups, Enlil, Freedom Fascists, BearStackof2015, Rhealaliit, Broengtopia, The Cult of the Great Cthulhu, Talitoa, Kilkire, and 95 others.The United Asian Republics, The New Wisconsin Empire, Roliganistan, The United Neo American Union, Liberstankonia, Libertanny, Dragons Blood, Grossvietnam, La xinga, Servants of Gizmo, Matdor, Todd McCloud, Marrabuk, Under Sea Desert, Drunken Seal Islands, Martonica, Merlovich, The Death Syndicate, Evrigenis, Kalaratri, The Militarius Imperium, Rainbow Vests, Interdimensional Waifus, Monteconstance, FreedomIand, Rage Mage, Zukchiva, Free sovereign Soviet socialist republic, Kelsyth, Warren democracy, Bai Lung, Imperial Akatsuki, Ripsylvania, Calbee, Plazland, Ad Honorem Dei, Republic of New India, Fellon, Waldenes, Tretrid, Freedomindia, Staynes, Greater New Cassandra, Barfleur, Lingu, The Eternal Land of Jong, Rohanland, Belora Gyles, United Dirtpile, The Three States of Fortuna, BuciLand, Raunch, Azureano, Roissyland, Vaskeden, Khadah, Mays Austrian Nation, San Castillo, Yossito II, Imprisoned Freeman, Tassirion, Spiruvania, Quinto Piano, A mean old man, Santa Dystopia, Chriona, Survivoristan, Pekweng, Eastern Hyront Scassen, Nevertopia, Stellar Colonies, Technocratic Tagalog, Grey Haven of Tauraucania, Blobbo, Distro-Spartica, Ephem, Modra, New Leganes, Oofery, Samaltak True, Zang0, The Federation of Osea and Yukotobonia, Kavanos, 3 14159265358979323846264, Horn of Havenkaap, Castle Federation, Oerkar, Neptunian Military Administration, Sunsistan, Neue Leipzig, Yelkinam, Amabilis, Strelizia, Rawdank, and Flying Snow.

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