The United Provinces of Grainstan is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Simeon Yoder with an even hand, and notable for its parental licensing program, keen interest in outer space, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate population of 7.292 billion Grainstanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Salah. The average income tax rate is 97.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Grainstanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,253 trillion Convertible Mark of One Thousand Mills a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 171,850 Convertible Mark of One Thousand Mills, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Abortion is only legal in unusual circumstances, sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside, phone taps are frequently carried out by the police, and delivery truck companies use hospital parking lots to store 16-wheelers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Grainstan's national animal is the Kakapo, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Grainstan is ranked 1,708^th in the world and 38^th in the South Pacific for Most Developed, scoring 98.13 on the Human Development Index.