The Most Serene Republic of Balto is a huge, genial nation, renowned for its smutty television, public floggings, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate population of 565 million Yognaughts are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, with Administration, Social Policy, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seaportattleland. The average income tax rate is 66.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Baltoan economy, worth 25.9 trillion Jaffa Cakes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 45,902 Jaffa Cakes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Telling someone to 'break a leg' is considered a criminal inducement to self harm, every week is blindness awareness week, religious citizens are closely monitored for signs of self-harm, and it is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws. Crime is totally unknown. Balto's national animal is the Crab People, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Balto is ranked 43,088^th in the world and 1,447^th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 76.5 law-abiding acts per hour.