The United Socialist States of Span is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by M Shobacus Maz with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 38.367 billion Spanners hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Maz. The average income tax rate is 85.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Spanner economy, worth a remarkable 9,914 trillion spannies a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism. Average income is an amazing 258,419 spannies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A paperwork error has naval privateers being directed to attack land-locked nations, political detractors refer to M Shobacus Maz as 'that Bigtopian puppet', disaster relief budgets are growing like wildfire, and murderers and thieves claim divine inspiration to avoid prosecution. Crime is totally unknown. Span's national animal is the donkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Span is ranked 9,697^th in the world and 355^th in The North Pacific for Nudest, with 221 Cheeks Per Square Mile.